You've had them, I've had them and hopefully you delete them. I'm talking about those scamming letters from some African dictatorship country pleading for assistance to liberate Millions of dollars from the country. What do you get from it - a percentage (normally about 10%) of the funds. Sounds too good to be true ? Well it is - wake up and smell the coffee.

This one comes to me from Kevin Dell. I don't normally run with them but this one was timed nicely. I needed something new to start.

This time the chosen person to reply was Jonathon Ross who speaks with a lisp. For our international viewers he hosts justabout anything on TV and even has a radio show on BBC Radio 2 - the show page is HERE (some weird music on a Saturday morning)

27th February 2004

FROM: MR.FIDELIS ALOYE
E-MAIL:AFIDELIS@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


BUSINESS PROPOSAL

ATTN: PRESIDENT/CEO,

My name is MR.FIDELIS ALOYE , a member of the
Presidential
Task Force on Oil Spillage Clean-up. Early last year
there was a major oil spillage in the Niger Delta
Region of Nigeria which rendered over 70% of the
communities homeless.The contract was handled by a
foreign firm but because of the huge monetary profit
we envisaged we decided to over-invoice the contract
sum.

Now the contract has been completed and the original
contractor has since been paid,but the contract
balance of US$38 million,which resulted from the over

invoiced contract sum that has been left in a
suspense
account with the CENTRAL BANK of NIGERIA,is what me
and my partners are planning to take out of the
country for ourselves.The problem is as government
officials,we are not suppose to own fat bank
accounts,talk less of having foreign ones.

To this end, we are soliciting your assistance as a
foreign partner who can assist us and receive this
amount into your account. We are ready to share this
money with you on the basis of participation. We also
have plans to invest part of this money in any viable
business in your country under your care,as we are
nearing our retirement age.

In any case, I received a reference of
you/organization
from the Nigeria Chambers of Commerce
and Industry 'Foreign Trade Division' as a reputable
organ that can assist us on this transaction. Please
if you accept my proposal do not hesitate to send me
a
fax on 234 1 xxxxxxxx or send me an e-mail on:
AFIDELIS@xxxxxxxxxxxx, so that I can provide you
with
the basic procedures for the release of the fund.

It does not matter whether you or your company does
contract project of the nature described here, the
assumption is that you won a major contract and
subcontracted it to another company, more often than
not, big trading companies or individuals of
unrelated
field win major contracts here in Nigeria and
subcontracts same to more specialized firms for
execution.

BENEFIT: For providing the account where we shall
remit this money, you will be entitled to 25% of the
entire funds, 70% will be for me and my
partners,while
5% has been set aside to cover any expenses that may
be incurred by both parties during this transaction,
both local and international.

Please I enjoin you to handle this transaction with
utmost degree of maturity and confidentiality because
I am still in active government service with the
"NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION". If I
receive your response on time, this whole transaction
could be accomplished within the shortest possible
time based on your interest and determination,since
the money is already in transit.

Please, try to call me up to confirm the receipt of
your e-mail.The lines may be busy,but keep
trying till you get through.

Yours faithfully,

MR.FIDELIS ALOYE (MNIM).

NOTE:Please send me an e-mail through this Email
address :AFIDELIS@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
as soon as you receive this message

Fidelis,

Thank you vewy much fow youw note which I weceived this mowning. I wead it with intewest. Fiwstly I'd like to apologise fow the incowwect use of lettews. My keyboawd has a pwoblem with the lettew W (between Q and S). I have a new keyboawd coming tommowow which should fix the pwoblem.

I'm incensed by these global companies making vast sums of money fwom theiw gweed to get theiw cut of the money. I'm suwe that I can assist you to libewate these funds. Exactly what are we talking about in a monetawy sense ?

I await youw wesponse and fuwthew instwuctions on how to pwoceed.

Wegawds
Johnathon

Oh dear, it looks like Jonathon is having problems with his keyboawd.

The emails are coming from woss.j@nanomole.co.uk, my madeup company solely used for this sort of spamming.

Dear Johnathon Woss,

Thanks for your e-mail and for your interest to front this transaction for
me, I am doing this transaction with you in all sincerity of purpose as you are
aware I am a civil servant still very active in government service though my
retirement is imminent so I would want us to conclude this transaction as soon as
possible.
Being in government I have the connections to perfect all the relevant documents
relating to the entire contract and to make everything look very legal, all the
documents will be back dated to suite the period the contract was actually
excuted. we have seven working(7) days to conclude this transaction and once
the contract sum is wire transfer to an account that will be provided by you, I will
make all the necessary arrangents to meet with you for the sharing and I do not
have the intention to bring back to my country my own share of the money rather I
would invest it in your country on a more profitable venture you might advise me .
On this note you are to provide me with the accounting information where you
wish the contract sum to be transfered into, the banking information should be
clearly type on your company letter head paper and send to me by email
attachments only to enable me file in an application through the appropriate
authorities for necessary approval and subsiquent release of the money into your
account. For us to have a voice contact and for easy communication I advise you
to provide me with your confidential telephone and fax number.alternatively you
could call me on my confidential telephone number:234-1-7757708 at any time of
the day. I am patiently waiting for your soonest response so that we could
proceed and conclude in earnest.
Thanks and God-Bless.

Fidelis Aloye

Fidelis,

Thanks fow the vewy quick wesponse. I'm still none the wisew what I've got
to do as faw as completing this twansaction.

I've as wequested wwitten the banking infowmation on my cowpowations
lettewheaded wwiting papew. The file is attached - it's the fiwst time I've
used ouw new scannew so hope is okay with it. It seemed to like the
automatic settings.

I've twied to call you but the numbew seems invalid - I get line busy all
the time. I will keep twying. One thing bothews me, I've no idea who you
awe, now what you look like. I pwefew to do business with someone who's
eyes I can see - I'm nowmally a good guess at the sowt of pewson they awe.
Could I ask that you send a photogwaph of youwself - ideally something thats
unique, say you holding a cawd with my name on it as it will help pwove that
it's not the photo of anyone else. I would weally appweciate it.

Cleawing this in seven days should not be a pwoblem unless thewe awe any
unfowseen issues.

Best wegawds

Jonathon

Again, apologies fow the keyboawd pwoblems.

This is hard enough to read, having typed it you would have thought that I'd be able to read it - but its hard going.

I sent him a photoshopped letter header which is actually this size

Do you think he'll be able to read it..

I wonder if I can get a picture out of him ?

27th February

Dear Johnathon Woss,

Thank you very much for your assistance for this transaction,I did not see your
banking information you send to me through attachment,could you please send it
through email so that I can be able to see it.

An attached is a scan copy of my international passport,try and sent me your
too,so that we could know ourself when I come over to your country.
Waiting to hear from you.
Thanks and God bless.
Fidelis Aloye.

Well we got a picture, not exactly the one we wanted but we got one.

Do you think it looks fake ?

Especially the photograph which looks like it's been stuck on with a bit of blue tac.

28th February

Dear Johnathon Woss,

Do provide me your telephone number and your banking information so that we
could start from there.
Waiting to hear from you.
Fidelis.

I'm confused, I've twice given you a scan of the banking information are you
saying that you've not recevied any of them ?

I can be contacted on 020 xxxxxxxx in London

Please advise soonest about the banking information

Jonathon.

How many times do I have to send him that small file ?

Fidelis,

Firstly - you'll be glad to know that my keyboard is working as normal.
They've reloaded the machine and all seems well.

Secondly I thought I would have heard from you today given the urgency that
this matter has. Please advise urgently!.

Regards
Jonathon

2nd March

Dear Johnathon Woss,

I try to call you for the telephone number that you provided for me and the line
was riging but there is nobody to pic up the phone.
Please do send me the banking information through email not attachment because
the one you send through attachment is not clear.
Waiting to hear from you.
Thanks.
Fidelis.

Oh dear...I think I'll send him a bigger file instead of the small one.

3rd March

Fidelis,

This is the third time I've sent you this document, please advise when (if)
you receive it. I've got one of the IT guys to scan it for me in case the
original one is problematic.

When can I expect to see some movement on this. I've been out looking at
new cars which I'll buy with my money. I might even go and order it if I
can see this agreement moving along.

You still haven't provided me with another photograph of yourself so I can
see your eyes clearly, I appreciate openness in relationships and feel that
you should by return oblige a photograph so I can see clearly whom I'm
dealing with.

Thanks in advance
Jonathon

I received your attachment but still yet is not clear,please kindly type in on your
email and send it to me today so that by tomorrow I will use it to file in an
application to our Apex Bank that are incharge of the release of the fund into your
nominated account.
Waiting to hear from you.
Thanks.
Fidelis Aloye.

Three times I've sent the document and three times you've been unable to
read it. I've just sent it to myself and checked it - all okay. I
suggest that you get your system checked asap.

The banking details are as follows :

National Westminster Bank
Sort Code 09 06 04
Bank Account Number 00 88 35 46 39 Of course these numbers are false..

I would still appreciate a photograph before progressing this further -
especially given the problems youve had with reading a simple attachment.

Regards
Jonathon

It's at this point that it goes all quiet.. nothing from him at all - so I fire off a couple of emails to see if he'll raise his head.

Strangely enough I suddenly get a barrage of scam emails coming into my Jonathon Woss email account, considering no-one apart from Fidelis knows what this email address is they must be linked to him.

5th March

Fidelis,

I tried to call you today - without success - the line was constantly busy.
I thought I would have heard from you today. I've even stayed back late in
the evening in the hope of getting in touch with you.

Can you advise that all is well with this transaction ?

Regards
Jonathon

I didn't call him - couldn't be bothered... but he doesn't know that.

7th March

Fidelis,

Please make contact with me - I've tried calling on several occasions and
the line is always busy - can I check the number you gave me..234-1-xxxxx

Please call me asap as I'm concerned that this agreement is going nowhere.
My telephone number is +44 20xxxxxxxx

Regards
Jonathon

His number is actually a landline in Lagos, so the Nigerian police should be able to trace this one relatively simply..

8th March.

I get a message on my answering service, it's Fidelis asking if I can call him - the message was left on Sunday evening at 7:30. Nice to see that the presedential task force is working this late in the weekend.

9th March.

I give him a call, he's sounds so happy to be finally talking to me, he explains that everything is okay (about six times) so I assume everything is okay. When asked about what the next step is he advises that the bank will be in touch - he doesn't know which one (it could be the Central Bank of Nigeria, or it may be another one). I promise to call him back when I hear anything.

9th March

ATTN:JONATHON WOSS,

MY NAME IS VICTORIA ODAFEN,THE DIRECTOR OF THE OFFICE OF THE
ACCOUNTANT GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION.
FIND ATTACHED IS THE APPROVAL NOTICE IN RESPECT OF THE CONTRACT YOU
DID IN NIGERIA.

PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL.
REGARDS.
VICTORIA ODAFEN.

Ooo a new contact - this time from the bank (I think).

This document looks legal enough, it's got proper stamps all over it and the date is correct.

Looks like the money's coming to my account... woohoo.

I wonder when they'll start asking for some money to clear the transaction through the red-tape ?

10th March

ATTN:JONATHON WOSS,

FIND ATTACHED IS THE APPROVAL NOTICE, YOUR PAYMENT HAS BEEN FORWARDED
TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK IN CANADA FOR ONWARD REMMITTANCE TO YOUR
NOMINATED ACCOUNT. YOU WILL BE CONTACTED ANY TIME TODAY FROM OUR
CORRESPONDING BANK IN CANADA.

CONGRATULATIONS,

VICTOR UDOJI.

Ooo another legitimate looking document from Nigeria, perhaps this one I'll actually get some money..

Looks like we're getting there. I've not yet been contacted by the Canadian bank but will let you know asap.

P.S. You still havent sent me a proper photograph yet. I would appreciate it.
Regards
Jonathon.

11th March.

I got a voicemessage this evening which was very garbled, obviously in a Nigerian gutteral tongue but the call was so unintelligble that I could only pick out pieces of the call - Canada, telephone 1 416 and thats about it.

12th March

I get another call from Edward Marks ? from the CCU in Canada confirming that I received yesterdays message and that I should call them back. The eejit, however didn't leave a number to call them back on so I choose to fire off a note to Victor who sent me the last note saying that the Canadian bank would be in touch..

Victor,

I received two voicemail messages today - the first I could not understand
due to the line quality - I got a partial number 1 416, whilst the second
call was from Edward Marks (?) at CCU credit Canada to confirm that I got
their message but they did not leave any contact number so I'm unable to
call them back.

I've looked for a telephone number on an internet page but cannot find any
number listed.

Can you get them to call me again..

Thanks for your assistance
Jonathon

Two minutes later I've got a rejected message from the mail server due to spam blocking :

This listing indicates that the mailserver you are sending our users mail from
is a "Direct Spam Source" - that is, it has been blocked locally by our
administrators as a result of spam coming in from that server to our users.

Please have your ISP or systems administrator contact us at
postmaster@outblaze.com regarding this issue.

So it looks like that account has been shut down. I'll fire it off to Fidelis and see if he's got direct contact with the bank (which of course, no doubt he has).

Fidelis,

I received two voicemail messages today from I believe the canadian bank- the first I could not understand
due to the line quality - I got a partial number 1 416, whilst the second call was from Edward Marks (?) at CCU credit Canada to confirm that I got their message but they did not leave any contact number so I'm unable to
call them back.

I've looked for a telephone number on an internet page but cannot find any number listed.

I tried sending a note to Victor at the Debt Reconcillation Committee but the emails to him are being rejected for some reason. As it stands, I've got no contact with either the bank nor the committee.

I don't know who or where to call to resolve this. Can you help.

Regards
Jonathon

15th March

Attn: Mr. Jonathon Woss.

Dear Sir,

This is a letter of notification on the arrival of USD$38M (Thirty eight million, dollars) in your favor. All the related information and instructions received were well analyzed inorder to be complied as per protocol.

In line with OECD, FATF and the United Nations Committee on Money Laundering and Anti-terrorism, you will be required to open an online account with our bank (Central Credit Union ), so that funds will be deposited for onward transfer to your nominated bank account on arrival, making use of our 24hours and 7days a week online/telephone banking system.

To open an account with us, log onto our website www.centralcreditunions.com, go to account setup and complete the account opening form.

Please reach us on 1-416-xxxxxxxxx if you need further clarification

All of sudden I've got an email from the administration dept at Central Credit Unions

Have a look - looks professional, so I sign up for an account of course with a deposit of minimum deposit of 10,000.

17th March

I've got a voicemail from Fidelis asking for me to call him, which I try to do but the phone is always engaged. Since I've heard nothing from the bank I decide to drop them a note back to the administration department

Edward,

Thanks for your note - I signed up for an account the moment I received your email and have heard nothing yet.

Can you advise if the my funds have been transferred into the account yet.

I'm in a series of meetings today so am unable to call you to discuss. Please advise.

Regards
Jonathon

18th March

Dear Sir,

Be advised that, your account has been credited with amount of USD38m{Thirty
Eight million dollars}.

To access your account, log on to our website go to account login then enter
your account number and password.

Reach us if your need further clarification.

Thanks,

Mrs. Nicole Benson
Account Officer.

oooo The money's been transferred into my account..

Only one thing to do now - login to my account and check the balance - could I hand in my notice at this scummy Nanomole company and sit on the beach in the Maldives.

Well I'll be damned - I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams...

I tried to call you this morning but the phone was engaged every time I
tried.

I've just had confirmation from the Canadian bank that the money has cleared
and is now in my account. I've logged in to check and it's there. I've
never seen sooo many Zeros on my balance. It's normally in the red.

What next step do you want to take - when are you coming to the UK ? Where
do we go from here..

Let me know at the earliest opportunity - I will try again to call you
tommorow but I'm in a bunch of meetings tommorow so may miss you call if you
call me.

Regards
Jonathon

Late on the 18th March from Fidelis

Dear Johnathon Woss

I am very happy for this development that the money has cleared, And hope to be
with you by month ending, you will send me an invitatation letter to enable me
apply for a visa at the British Embassy here in Nigeria.
My passport no is FC4470576 Please include the number on the invitation letter
because they will not honour it without the number.
M y good friend you know I have spend alot of money to push this transaction to
this stage, I do not have money to buy ticket to meet with you, can send me
US$1,500 to buy the ticket and other travelling expenses, you will deduct it from
my share once the money get into your account. Make the payment to my
secrectary MR. GODWIN OGIEVA by western union money transfer.
I will appreciate if you can send the money and the invitation letter today.

Best Regards,

Fidelis Aloye.

So this is where he starts to ask for money. Only $1,500, peanuts to a man of my wealth. I'll get him running back and forth to Western Union.

I wonder if Godwin Ogieva is his real name.

Early on the 19th..From the bank...

Dear Sir,

This is to notify you that, we received a wire transfer in the amount
of US$38M (Thirty Eight million dollars) and it was deposited in your favor.

However, your account has been put on-hold and all other transactions
regarding your account has been suspended for the non-payment of our
In-Bank charges.

Note that, these charges US$23,600.00 (Twenty three thousand, six
hundred dollars), represents charges accrued on your funds and cannot be
deducted because our offshore bank's policy stipulates that it must be
paid by the beneficiary before funds can be release for transfer.

Failure to settle this issue, might lead to the account being cancelled
and the funds sent back.

Reach me, if you need further clarification.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Edward Mark
Account Manager.

My accounts on hold - first time ever thats happened to me - wouldn't be so bad but I don't even have an overdraft.

Oooooooo serious amounts of money.. But of course it must be real, yeh right.

Again - I'm unable to reach you on the phone - it's busy. I wished to talk to you and thank you personnally for changing my life. I can't believe this has happened to me. I've found it hard to restrain myself from telling other people about my good tidings.

I almost handed in my resignation here given that we've now got the money. I'm so happy I went out last night and got absolutely plastered. Champagne all night - I know that I was adding to my already extensive overdraft with my bank but I've got all that money coming my way so I didn't care.

I've no idea how long it's going to take to transfer the money to my existing account so I can clear my outstanding debts on my mortgage for my house, my outstanding car payments which are months overdue, multiple credit cards that are maxed out and my outstanding arrears on my excessive council taxes. I'll be so glad when I'm able to all these off and walk away from this god forsaking country and live somewhere nice.

While I'm typing this - this email has just came into my inbox
-------------------
Dear Sir,

This is to notify you that, we received a wire transfer in the amount
of US$38M (Thirty Eight million dollars) and it was deposited in your favor.

However, your account has been put on-hold and all other transactions
regarding your account has been suspended for the non-payment of our
In-Bank charges.

Note that, these charges US$23,600.00 (Twenty three thousand, six
hundred dollars), represents charges accrued on your funds and cannot be
deducted because our offshore bank's policy stipulates that it must be
paid by the beneficiary before funds can be release for transfer.

Failure to settle this issue, might lead to the account being cancelled
and the funds sent back.

Reach me, if you need further clarification.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Edward Mark
Account Manager.
-------------------

Fidelis
I'll give the bank a call this afternoon and get them to transfer the money from the account as I'm sure they can obviously just some red tape they need to cut.

I'll type up your letter of invitation - do you know whats supposed to go on it - I'm guessing your details and the reason you're coming to the UK ? Anything else that you know of ? Should this letter be a personal letter or a company letter ?

I'll let you know about the airfare money once I've transferred some money from the main account.

Regards and thanks again...

Jonathon

Lets see how guilty he feels, someone with this much financial problems should not be taking on any more loans. I've a funny feeling he's going to ask me to do it though.

20th March

Dear Johnathon Woss

I am in receipt of your mail, and the content was quiet understood, I will be
coming to LONDON once you confirm the funds in your account.
How soon can you pay the US$23,600, Please respond to me asap cos I can't
wait to be with you in London .
The invitation should be a personal letter that you are inviting me to come and
spend two weeks holiday with you.
I will be happy to speak with you any time today.
Best Regards,

Fidelis Aloye

Sorry for the delay in posting I've been out of the country and internet access was not my highest priority.

Well it seems that our Fidelis doesn't care about getting me more into debt. Did I expect him to- not really - this is the sort of people we're dealing with here..

20th March

Edward,

Thank you for the confirmation about the funds being transferred. I would
call you I'm unsure what time difference exists between us and don't want to
call during the evening. If I plan on calling you first thing in the
morning say at 09:00 what time is that where you are ?

I find it strange that I've accrued bank charges given that the account has
only just been opened and funds transferred into it. Your website showed
no banking charges so you therefore cannot expect me to be aware of these.

Please send me a copy of the relevant documentation detailing how the
charges are calculated as I'm sure the OCC will be interested to see of a
bank incurring charges for an account that is open one day.

I await your reply and would like to discuss this on the phone with a bank
Manager.

Regards
Jonathon

Thought I'd chase up the Bank to see what they say just before I leave the country for a few days..

Whilst away I did give the number a call a couple of times and it answers with a voice menu - very professional however I don't think you should phone it early in the morning Canadian time as it sounds like you wake someone up. Oh dear.. :)

25th March

Dear Johnathon Woss ,

How far have you gone with the Canada Bank,Please kindly update me.
Waiting to hear from you today.
Fidelis.

I've been out of the country for a couple of days and just returned late
last night. I did try to make contact with the bank but I believe due to
the time differences all I could do was leave a message since there were no
agents available at the times of calling. I didn't want to leave a message
and wanted to talk to someone in person . I will try them again this
afternoon to see if that helps.

Due to my current financial difficulties I've had to visit a pawnbroker to
hock some of my belongings to raise the money to get you your airfare. I
pawned some personal items to me with the intention of getting them back in
a couple of weeks once this affair is sorted out. My grandfathers clock is
particularly precious to me so I was rather upset when they only gave me
£200 for it. I've managed to scrape together sufficient items to get your
airfare together this morning.

I've made enquiries at the travel agents next door to the pawnbrokers and
they've confirmed that I can pay for the ticket here which will save me some
commission to change the money - they also said that I'd be able to get
quite a good deal on the ticket price if I pay cash.

I've attached the letter of invitiation as requested - I've got it scanned
in so I can attach it.

Please let me know the dates you wish to travel and I'll get the flight
booked. I'll meet you at the airport upon your arrival in case there are
any problems with immigration.

Awaiting your reply.

Jonathon

Here we go again,

It's a sob story but I'm sure he won't care - he's out to get your money whatever method he can.

I don't believe he'll fall for this - I'm sure he'll request that I send the money to him as it's the only way to do business. - We'll see..

26th March

Dear Johnathon Woss

Send the money to me, I would like to buy the ticket here in Nigeria,
because I will attach it to my passport when go to the embassy, that is the
procedure here. Without the ticket your embassy here will not give the visa.
Please send the money to my secrectary

MR GODWIN OGIEVA
LAGOS- NIGERIA

Also give me an update with the Canadian Bank.

Fidelis Aloye.

This email comes to be with the subject of SEND THE MONEY.

Sounds like he's desperate.

Do we think Godwin is Fidelis ?

Monday 29th March

So I called Fidelis up and explain the great deal that I've got from my mate the travel agent - I can get him a flight for about $700 which is half the price he says that he can get it for. He explains in great details that he needs to present his flight ticket to the embassy to ensure that he can get his visa. I should send the money to him asap. If I can afford to send him $700 that will do so he can get buy his flight.

It didn't seem to bother him one iota that this put me more and more into debt. I promise to try and reach the bank again and to visit the western union office to transfer the money to him.

I send him a note about two hours after we spoke -

Fidelis,

After our discussion on the phone today I again called the bank and yet
again I got the answering service - what sort of bank is this. I don't want
to leave a message - I want to talk to someone to get this issue sorted out.
So far the bank seems like an incompetent lot - there is never an agent when
you want to talk to one. In fact if I'm having this hard a problem trying
to get someone to answer the phone can you imagine the problem I'm going to
have getting hold of a manager.

Anyway, I digress - I've found the local Western Union office and payed them
a visit this afternoon to transfer the money to you. I've transferred $700
(from my credit card) as my pawnbroking visit didn't pay as much as I'd
hoped which is why they cheaper flight ticket appealed to me.

I've sent it to MR GODWIN OGIEVA, LAGOS- NIGERIA

They asked me for a secret Question / Answer to verify the transaction.
The question I could think of was - Whats the best time of the day. The
Answer is Alex Lester 3 - 6am.
(Its the radio show I listen to in the morning on Radio 2).

Please confirm when you've received the money as it's the last thing I have
in this world until I get paid the end of the first week next month.

Regards
Jonathon

I decide not to send him the tracking number that Western Union use to see if we can get him to visit the office at least once.

If you've never had a chance to listen to Alex Lester in the morning on Radio 2 I would recommend it - I normally listen at about 5:20 - 6:00am and he plays some great music. I digress.

Almost 20 minutes later -

Dear Johnathon Woss,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail, if you cannot reach the
bank in canada, I will suggest you send an E-MAIL to the DEBT RECONCILIATION
COMMITTE (DRC) to ask them if your payment can be refer to another place in
Europe. Please send the control number of the western union to me.

Fidelis Aloye

Nope - he knows what he's doing - he needs the transfer number before he visits western union.

So I decide to send a note as suggested to the debt reconcillation committe who had previously sent me a note..

Victor,

I wonder if you can help - I've had severe difficulties contacting the bank that these funds were paid into in Canada. Is it possible that it can be transferred into a European bank to facilitate easier communication ?

Thanks in advance..

Jonathon

Tuesday 30th March

Dear Sir,

This is to remind you that, we have not received any payment regards to your
in-bank charges till date, however we realy want to complete this transaction
without further delay as soon as we hear from you.

Thank you,

Mr. Martin Smith
Account Officer.

The bank in Canada are fairly impatient on getting their money aren't they..

Dear Johnathon Woss,

Please provide me the control number so that I could be able to collect the money
for western union money transfer today.
waiting to hear from you as soon as prossible.
Thanks and God bless.
Fidelis Aloye

Fidelis of course desperate for this number as he can't get the cash without it..

Fidelis,

The transfer number is 7887432868.

As per my previous request, please let me know when you've got the money.

I've email the debt committee but have not heard anything yet.

Regards
Jonathon

Yet again - a dodgy 10 digit number which is required for the Western Union transfer. This one spells out what I think of him - use your phone and figure it. The first part is Stupid

31st March

I get a phone message from a bank in Holland saying that they've received my money and can I contact them to arrange what to do with it. They also leave a +31 xxx number to call back on. It's a gutteral African voice (surprise surprise)

I also get a message very early in the morning from the Canadian bank asking for me to call them also. I don't think I will..

ATTN:JOHNATHON WOSS,

FIND ATTACHED IS THE APPROVAL NOTICE, YOUR PAYMENT HAS BEEN FORWARDED
TO OUR CORRESPONDING BANK IN HOLLAD FOR ONWARD REMMITTANCE TO YOUR
NOMINATED ACCOUNT. YOU WILL BE CONTACTED ANY TIME TODAY FROM OUR
CORRESPONDING BANK IN HOLLAND.

CONGRATULATIONS,

VICTOR UDOJI.

Dear Johnathon Woss,
I COULD NOT COLLECT THE MONEY FROM THE WESTERN UNION
OFFICE, WHAT'S IS THE PROBLEM?

Fidelis

Good news - the money has been transferred to a bank in Holland which should
make it easier to contact them. I've received a call from the bank and
recieved notification that it's been done. I'm tied up in meetings this
afternoon but will call them as soon as I can.

What do you mean you could not collect the money. The money was transferred
at the beginning of the week. Can you explain what the problem is ?

Regards
Jonathon

Its normally about this time that they get demanding... we'll see how it goes..

In the evening I get an email from Craig (who shall remain nameless) - he works only a block or two from the location of the Canadian bank. He advises that the 647 numbers listed on their site don't even work locally, however the 866 number on their website and the number I provided him to check end up at the same place and could be anywhere.

Never having been to Toronto myself, Craig explains that the Canadians bank presence in 1st Canadian Place is a rather large building.

Indeed it is... And many thanks to Craig for the information.

1st April 2004

Dear Johnathon Woss,

Please send the western union payment receipt to me by fax :+234 1 xxxxxx.
I will show it to the western union office as evidence. Also update me of your
arrangement with the bank in Holland.

Fidelis Aloye.

I call my "bank" contact (Igho Brown) in Amsterdam. He's expecting me to be there tommorow (Friday) to sign some documents. No-one told me. As a concession (thank you) he's still willing to meet tommorow to sign the documents but I'll have to travel to Amsterdam. Time to check out flight times and call him back I think... I also decide to let Fidelis know whats going on...

I've tried to both call you and fax the slip they gave me without success - numbers or the network are both engaged.

I can scan and send you if thats okay ?

Just to let you know I've made contact with the bank in Holland and am planning to travel their tommorow to sign the release documents - again there is some fee to be paid but I've upped my credit card overdraft so
should be okay.

I'll let you know how I get one - I'm currently waiting on my friend to call back with a cheap flight to Amsterdam.

Regards
Jonathon

Fidelis,

I've tried to both call you and fax the slip they gave me without success -
numbers or the network are both engaged.

I can scan and send you if thats okay ?

Just to let you know I've made contact with the bank in Holland and am
planning to travel their tommorow to sign the release documents - again
there is some fee to be paid but I've upped my credit card overdraft so
should be okay.

I'll let you know how I get one - I'm currently waiting on my friend to call
back with a cheap flight to Amsterdam.

Regards
Jonathon

Thank you very much for your assistance in this transaction but till now I have not
be able to collect the money in western union ,please try and send me the
payment slip through attachement (scan).

Waiting to hear from you soonest possible.
Thank and God bless.
Fidelis Aloye.

So thats another trip to WU offices.. :)

Attached find the scan of the receipt. Please advise when you get the
money. I'll be out of touch tommorow as I'll be in Amsterdam signing off
the money.

Regards
Jonathon

This should send him to the WU offices again.

2nd April

Well it's now gone 11am on Friday morning - a time I should have been Amsterdam probably getting fleeced for the money that I've seemingly taken to pay the fees. At about this time I'm guessing that Fidelis is also making another trip to the WU office to try and collect his money all to no avail. :)

I call my contact Igho Brown at the bank in Amsterdam. I apologise that I've been unable to travel to Amsterdam because my house was broken into last night and the police have been here since early morning and have only just left. Strangely enough we have a decent conversation of whats missing and who is likely to have done it. I explain it was probably done to get money for drugs.. Igho's kind of shocked that this sort of thing happens in the UK. Don't know which planet he lives on.

Igho advises me that someone was at the airport at 07:30am and waited till late (after 10am), she has only just got back to the office. So it was a female sent to meet me - obviously all part of the making you feel at ease when handing over a suitcase of money.

Igho asks if I can make it tommorow instead (Saturday), apologising again as I've got the insurance company man coming round to check out whats missing etc... So it's rescheduled for Monday. I'll have to give him a call just after the flight has arrived and say where is meeter/greeter as I think he may be getting suspicious as Fidelis has not been in contact to say that his trips to WU are a waste of time.

Don't worry - my house was not broken into.

3rd April

Fidelis,

I have contacted the bank yesterday as I was unable to travel to Amsterdam
due to a burglary on our house on Thursday evening. I have rescheduled my
appointmnet for Monday morning. The bank are happy with this..

I'm concerned that I've not heard that you've received everything
successfully from the money transfer office. Can you confirm that you've
got it.

Regards
Jonathon.

and just to reinforce.

Igho,

Thank you for your understanding yesterday about the break-in at my house. I'm glad to say I've rescheduled my flights and BA have confirmed travel for Monday on the same flight.

I look forward to meeting you.

Regards
Jonathon

Monday 5th April

So the bank is expecting me to arrive in Amsterdam this morning and I've not heard for a couple of days from Fidelis whether he's made yet another unsuccessful trip to the Western Union office (probably his third).

I give Igho, my bank contact a call at about 08:20 this morning (09:20 Continental Europe time) which is about half an hour after my flight supposedly landed. I explain I'm in Amsterdam and am looking for the person who's here to collect me as I can't see them. I explain that I'm waiting by the British Airways customer service desk and the nice lady there has let me use her phone to call him. He explains that they were probably running late after doing a stock check (???) Strangely he asks me what I'm wearing - perhaps a way of spotting me from afar to see that I'm not actually a policeman or whatever. So I'm wearing the traditional business travellers garb - light coloured trousers and a blue shirt with a blue jacket. He promises to get me someone there as soon as he can - I'm to stay near the desk and to give him a call in twenty minutes. I can't, I'm tied up in a meeting.

Came home this evening and Fidelis has not been in contact. I did however have an email from the Credit Central Union saying

Please note that our website address has been switched from .COM to .NET, the new address is www.centralcreditunions.net

I've changed the link above to suit.

I think that they've caughtened on so it's time to post the relevant information so you can all have fun.

The Cast of thieves..

Fidelis (the originator) can be reached on +234-1-7757708 (Nigeria) or afidelis@web-mail.com.ar

The Canadian Bank can be reaced on +1-416-848-9572 If you're calling from anywhere East of Canada may I suggest that you make early morning to late morning calls to this number. This will ensure an early wakeup call for Edward Marks. The bank can be reached on admin@centralcreditunions.net

Igho Brown can be reached on +31 61 5606 224. If you're calling from anywhere West of Continental Europe may I suggest a very late afternoon, late evening call to ensure that Igho wakes up nice and early. Igho can also be reached on ighobrown@consultant.com.

If you get a reject message from these emails they've probably been disabled by their ISP's so if you're going to do anything with them - do it to them now. Not that I would condone sending anything to them on the email, oh no, not me..I wouldn't do that at all.. Have fun and be safe.