You've had them, I've had them and hopefully you delete them. I'm talking about those scamming letters from some African dictatorship country pleading for assistance to liberate Millions of dollars from the country. What do you get from it - a percentage (normally about 10%) of the funds. Sounds too good to be true ? Well it is - wake up and smell the coffee.

This one comes to me from Chris Ward -

Saturday, April 12, 2003 4:52 AM

MR. WOO CHONG
CHINA TRUST COMMERCIAL BANK.
NAN KAN BRANCH, TAIWAN
REPUBLIC OF CHINA

I am Mr. Woo Chong, Bank Manager of Chinatrust Commercial Bank, Nan Kan branch, Taiwan, R.O.C. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

On June 6, 1998, a British Oil consultant/contractor with the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation, Mr. Smith Lawrence made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months,valued at US$30,000,000.00
(Thirty Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity,I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation that Mr. Smith Lawrence died from an automobile accident.

On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Smith Lawrence did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$30,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it.

According to Laws of Republic of China, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Chinese Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Smith Lawrence so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 55% for me 25% for you, 10% for attorney and 10% for expences.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction.

If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address above. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. Please send me your confidential telephone and fax numbers for easy communication.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Awaiting your urgent reply via my email address.

Thanks and regards.

Mr. Woo

ooooo Lots of Zeros' just what I like...

Look - it clearly says no risk, so it must be good.

Mr Woo, wasn't a song by Steely Dan - oh no of course not that was Dr Wu....(Worth listening to if you want...great LP)

Sat April 12th 18:00

Woo,

I read your email with interest and I'm sure I can assist to some extent. Can you perhaps explain a little further what would be expected of me and I will be able to confirm otherwise.

I would also like to know how you came by my personal email address.

Yours faithfully

Arthur

Friday 16th April 07:30

Woo,

Apologies for last note - Clicked send before even typing anything - its been one of those days.

Are you still looking for assistance ? If you don't reply by tommorow evening I'll assume not.

Regards
Arthur

Thursday 24th April 06:00

Dear Thompson,

I thank you very much for you positive response to my mail, I want to assure you that this trnsaction is 100% risk free and that you will benefit immensely from this transaction at the end of it. I wish to inform you that you we will both meet and smile at the end of this transaction as it will be beneficial to you and I. I will actually want you to assist me.

Be informed that this funds in question is deposited in a security company in London. So all you need to do is to go to the security company. to see the consignment,process them and transfer into your account. This consignment, upon depositiing of this consignment with the security company, I paid US$18,000.00 AS SAFE KEEPING CHARGES, The major issue right now is the CLAERANCE/HANDING CHARGES(US$15,000.00) that has to be paid to enable the beneficary of the funds(WHICH IS YOU) process and clear the consignment. But if you agree to assist in the processing of this transaction,By making t! he payment, I will forward the full information of the security company to you, and the necessary documents required for you to present to the security company as the legal beneficary to enable you contact them for the processing of the funds.

In this case, you will not make any payment until you visit the security company and see the consignment, you can then proceed to make the payment of this charges to enable you transfer the consignment.I must be very frank with you that I personally do not has much as this charges requested, this is why I am looking for one who will assist. You should not be bothered about what ever expenses you will incurre in this transaction, like you know, I have set aside 10% OF THE TOTAL fund as expenses incured by you and I in the cause of this transaction. So I will advice you to keep a sincere record of what ever expenses you will incurre in this transaction. So that this will be settled out the moment this fund is transfered into you! r account.

I intent to invest my share of this fund in a viable business in your country, so I will advise that you please assit in the looking out for a business that will be very viable.

I thank you very much for your anticipated assistance and unweaving effort so far, I hope to hear from you as soon as possible, so that we can commence the perfection of the necessaery document needed immediately.

Thank you.

Chong Wang.

Thursday 24th April 07:30

Chong,

Thanks for getting back to me as I thought you'ld ignored my email offering assistance but with some clarification on what you wanted me to do.

The transaction sounds relatively straightforward and I'm happy to offer whatever assistance I can from this end. Conveniently I am located in London so this should be relatively simple. Can you advise which security company the funds are deposited with and what the actual process is for getting the fund out. I'm guessing that I can't just walk up, say I'm a colleague of Chong and they will give me the fund ?

I will be able to pay the $15,000 (which is about £10,000) can you how to pay this money to the security company - Bank Transfer ? Cheque or do they take credit card (I'd like to get some extra bonus points using it now and again). It's also nice to know that this will come out of the 10% expense.

I will indeed start to look at companies into which investment would be beneficial for you.

Best Regards

S. (Arthur) Thompson

Wed 30th April 19:00

Dear Thompson,

I thank you very much for your mail, I want to assure that you will benefit immensely from this transaction the moment we conclude it.

I will want you to please forward to me your telephone number. This is to enable my attorney call you, my attorney has already perfect all the documents in your name, and he has forward your file to the security company. So I need your telephone/fax number, to be forwarded to my attorney, so that he can call you to brief you on the modalities to the successfull conclusion of this transaction.

I will be waiting for your response as soon as possible.THIS IS VERY URGENT, AS TIME IS VERY CRUCIAL AT THIS POINT.

Wed 30th April 20:10

Woo,

Again I thought I'd been forgotten in this transaction - your first note made it sound as if it was crucial but I can see by the time taken to respond to my emails that it can't be all that important. You mention that you require my response as soon as possible but when I sent you an email it takes days for a response !!

I'm still enquiring about the actual process that surround the transaction but I'm hoping that your attorney has a better understanding of it and I await his call. I can be reached on 020 xxxx xxxx. I don't have a fax machine - will this halt the process or will your attorney be able to email me the documents (probably quicker and certainly cheaper!). Please give him my email address and numbers - I await his call.

How is the SARS epidemic impacting you in your area ?

Please call me Arthur,

Regards
Arthur

Friday 2nd May 14:00

This one had the subject marked URGENT

Dear Authur,
Thank you very much for the number which you forwarded to me. I have immediately forwarded it to my attorney, and I have instructed him to call you. Please for proper identification, my attorney require that you forward to him a photocopy of you internation possport, this is for the safty and for a trust in this transaction.I will also I advice that you forward to me your personal email addreses so that we do not have to contact you through your son's email address. This is for confidentiality sake.

Please this transaction is very serious, and we need to conclude it within a specified time. So I need your 100% cooperation for a successful conclusion of this transaction.
Below is the full details of my attorney, so you can email/ call him, should in cae you do not hear from him.

NAME: JOHN WATTS.
EMAIL: xxxxx@mail.com.
TEL: 44775xxxxxxxxx

Please I will advice that you email him so that he can brief you on the modalit! ies to a successful concludtion of this transaction.

Please, always get back to me on what ever discusion you have with my attorney in this transaction for my input and advice. Thank you very much and God bless you.

Regards,

WOO.

Friday 2nd May 14:05

Woo,

Thanks for your correspondence. Yet again I hear nothing from you for 3 days - not exactly urgent is it. I'm willing to assist you and you piss me about demanding urgency and the next thing is that you're taking a week, then three days to respond. Is this normal practice for your bank - in the UK I would not stand for this sort of response from a national bank - someone else would get my custom.

On the matter of trust - how do I know that you are indeed who you say you are. I'm willing to make contact with and give a copy of my passport to your attorney but only after you have proved who you are. You have my telephone number, you know my name and I'm willing to commit £10,000 of my own money in this deal - obviously I need some level of security that all is well. A photo of your passport would put my mind at rest.

As you mentioned in your note - we need to conclude the transaction swiftly - I'm more than eager to get my hands on the package - I'm assuming that the security company is still based in London ?

I will give your attorney a call when I get the opportunity unless he calls me first. (But I'm still waiting on some proof)

Regards and have a nice day
Arthur

I now get an email (and voice message from his Attorney who makes a great deal about that he's in the Cayman Islands.)

Monday 5th May 21:00

Attention: Arthur,

Am Mr. John watts, my client (MR WOO CHONG.) told me about you intention to assist him in this transaction. I have already perfected all the documents in your favor, and forwarded it to the security company.

I wish to inform you that I am currently in Cayman Island, for an assignment, so I have instructed my partner (MR ANTHONY THOMAS)to meet with you. So that both of you can proceed to the security company to perfect the clearing processes, to enable the security company transfer the funds into your account. Ensure that
you go along with you to the security company the 10,000.00 pounds. To ensure that you process the funds and transfer to your account. So not be surprise for any strange call.

I request that you forward to me a photocopy of your international passport for a full identification. Please this is very important.

Do get back to me the moment you are been contacted by the security company or by my partner for my guidance.

Watts.

Monday 5th May 21:15

John,

Thanks very much for your note and voice message. I've been away this weekend due to the bank holiday so I've not had enough time to catch up with emails and messages.

I've informed Woo (Fri 2nd) that I will gladly help him but I would need to see some evidence that he is who he actually says he is. I've given him my phone number, he's got my private email address and now he, as you do, want me to give out my passport information prior to confirming who is who. I've asked him to provide a scanned copy of his passport and I will gladly send my passport details onwards to you.

Woo continues to stress urgency in his notes but he normally takes three days to reply (at best). I will not go any further with assistance until I can verify who he is. As you can see today is Monday and yet again Woo has failed to reply.

Perhaps if you can speed him up it would assist.

I'm out of the country for the next couple of days but will be returning on Thursday evening where I hope to at least see some evidence from Mr Chong.

Yours faithfully

Arthur Thompson

Lets see if Mr Watts can chase him up.

I am actually out of the country for a couple of days and won't have access to update.

Tues 6th May 10:35

DEAR ARTHUR,
I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL AND QUITE APPRECIAT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WRITTEN. I AM VERY WILLING AND READY TO SEND YOU A COPY OF MY PASSPORT FOR PROPER IDENTIFICATION BUT BECAUSE OF THE LEVEL AND STAGE OF THIS TRANSACTION, I IMPLORE YOU TO MEET WITH MY REPRESENTATIVE TO DISCUSS AND RECEIVETHE CONSIGNMENTO ENABLE ME BUILD MY TRUST IN YOU BEFORE I DISCLOSE MYSELF . THE REASON BEING THAT I DO NOT WANT ANYBODY TO BETREY ME AT THIS EARLY STAGE BUT BE REST ASSURED THAT I WILL DEFINATELY SEND YOU MY IDENTIFICATION AFTER YOUR MEETING WITH MY REPRESENTATIVES.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.

REGARDS,

WOO.

He doesn't really want to send me his passport does he...

Tuesday 6th May 12:00

Woo,

As you can appreciate I would prefer to know to whom I was dealing with. It would give me great comfort in dealing with you and your confidant on this matter. I'm actually out of the country and the moment and will not be able to meet with your contact until I return on Thursday evening.
I would be beneficial for both of us if you could provide verification prior to this time as I'll be checking my email from time to time during the next two days.

Regards
Arthur

Thu 8th May 17:15

DEAR ARTHUR,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DOUBT MY PERSONALITY. IAM FULLY COMMITED TO THIS TRANSACTION. I WANT YOU TO MEET WITH MY ATTORNEY SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THE MAGNITUDE OF THIS TRANSACTION. I WILL SEND YOU MY PASSPORT.THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
REGARDS,
WOO.

Nope - no passport yet.

Friday 9th May 09:14

Woo,

I return from a couple of days away and am deeply upset that you've been unable to provide me with even the most basic of credentials. I've copied this to Watty, your attorney who may be able to confirm for you. As an act of good faith, I've attached a scan of my passport for your information. I await confirmation as requested.

Regards
Arthur

Tue, 13 May 2003 20:33:29

DEAR ARTHUR,

HAVE YOU BEEN CONTACTED BY MY ATTORNEY? WHAT IS THE POSITION OF THINGS. PLEASE KEEP ME POSTED. EXPECTING YOUR MAIL SOON. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
REGARDS,
WOO.

Wed, 14 May 2003 17:29:22

Dear
How are you today, hope fine, this is my second mail to you since yesterday. My attorney said he drop a message for you , his representative said he did not hear from you again. Please am very worried as I need to know what your position is, so that I can know exactly what to do.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,
Woo

Sat 17th May 2003 19:15

Woo,

Apologies for not responding sooner - I've been away on business for several days and didn't have access to my personal email.

I must say I'm rather upset that during the time away you have not provided what I asked previously. I asked you to provide verification of who you are - I gave my trust and sent you a copy of my passport - but what have given me so far - nothing. I did try and call Watt your attorney and left a message with him. I came back after my travels and find a couple of unintelligable messages on my answering machine - I can only assume that they're from your attorney - I listened to them four times trying to understand what was being said - the only bit I understood was woo chong !!! Perhaps its about time your attorney managed to speak clearly. Its not my answering machines as all the other messages I had played perfectly.

As I've mentioned before - a certain level of confidence needs to be coming from your side of this transaction.

I await your communication

Regards

Arthur

I had two gutteral messages on my voicemail - typical Nigerian accents and with the words running into each other - I listened to it several times before deleting it.

Monday 19th May 20:30

DEAR ARTHUR,
YOU WOULD HAVE INFORMED ME OR MR ATTORNEY ABOUT YOUR TRIP. DON'T WORRIE ABOUT THE PASSPORT, I WILL SENT IT TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU MEET WITH MY REPRESENTATIVE. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
REGARDS,
WOO.

Tuesday 20th May 17:30

Woo,

Thanks for the note - I've tried calling your attorney without success. I tried him ten minutes ago and the phone rang for ages and no answer.

What sort of an attorney is he - This is the umpteenth time I've tried to reach him and he never answers his phones.

Getting back to an old subject which you still have not resolved- It would be nice to have some a photograph or some proof that you are who you say you are. I've provided my passport and received nothing. Trust is a two way process - You've trusted me, but now you I must trust you which at the moment I'm not feeling that well about it. Please by return provide some proof who you are.

Regards
Arthur

It would be nice to get a photograph of him...